Brandon Wolf Delivers Powerful Opening Keynote at ACA Conference & Expo

By Caren Clark

March 2025

The 2025 ACA Conference & Expo kicked off with a compelling opening keynote from Brandon Wolf, a nationally recognized advocate for LGBTQ+ civil rights and gun safety. Wolf’s life changed on June 12, 2016, when a night out with friends turned tragic during a mass shooting at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida. Wolf shared his story of resilience to empower counselors to support LGBTQ+ clients and students.

Struggle for Belonging

Wolf, a native Oregonian, shared his experiences growing up in a rural town, the kind of close-knit place where “everybody knows everybody,” but where he never felt a sense of belonging because of his race and sexual orientation. “I never really felt like it was home,” he says.

He moved to college with hopes it would be the place where he could finally find community. Despite trying hard to fit in and joining activities, he still felt isolated. His professors and family told him he would have to compromise parts of himself to fit into different spaces.

“The world is never going to be ready for someone like you,” he remembers hearing. He would have to “find a way to be Black enough for one space, white enough for another space and masculine enough to survive any space at all.”

Journey to Walt Disney World

One day, Wolf was sitting in the back room of the Starbucks where he worked. He remembers wondering if someone like him would ever get to feel normal and “lean into the joy” he saw around him. His life changed that day when he saw a help-wanted ad for Walt Disney World.

With his grandmother’s support, Wolf attended an audition and eventually received a job offer. “I took a leap of faith,” he recalls. “I packed two suitcases, and I moved 3,000 miles from the only home I’d ever known to Orlando, Florida.”

Chosen Family

In Orlando, Wolf found something different. As he stood in line to get his employee ID for Walt Disney World, he saw faces that “looked a bit more like mine,” and for the first time, heard people talking about love that “sounded a little bit more like mine.” Wolf says, “I had stumbled into a world that felt like it was built for me.”

His new city offered safety and belonging in a way he had not imagined possible. Further, he finally understood the concept of “chosen family” when he profoundly connected with a man named Drew while on a dinner date in 2014.

Wolf recounts that they spent the entire evening “talking about everything that makes us, us.” Drew didn’t try to pretend to be someone different for the people around them, Wolf explains. He just existed in that moment, as if none of the outside world mattered. “Drew’s very presence at that table said the world had better get ready because we were already here.”

While the two didn’t continue dating, they eventually became best friends. Their chosen family expanded further when Drew met his partner, Juan. The three of them formed a close bond, frequently traveling together and hanging out.

“We became the Three Musketeers,” Wolf says. “Sitting in the back room of that Starbucks in college, I couldn’t have imagined that that friendship could happen.”

The Last Normal Day

Members of Wolf’s community in Orlando often refer to June 12, 2016, as the “last normal day.”

“Everything about it was normal,” recalls Wolf. It was a Saturday, which meant laundry day. Meanwhile, Drew and Juan had been posting pictures from a theme park on social media. Later, as Wolf sat by the pool and watched the sun set, he texted the couple to propose grabbing a drink at their familiar hangout — Pulse.

“If my friendship with Drew and Juan was a safe space, a place for us,” he says, “then Pulse nightclub was the physical embodiment of that.”

At the club, their normal day continued as they settled into their usual spot on the patio. Drew, who had a master’s degree in clinical psychology, was known to offer people a free therapy session after a few drinks — whether they wanted one or not.

Wolf remembers the topic of Drew’s session that night. “He was frustrated that we so often let the little things get in the way of how much we cared about each other. … We so often focus on what makes us different as opposed to focusing on what makes us so similar.”

Wolf remembers Drew’s words: “You know, what I guess I’m trying to say is, I wish we said 'I love you' more.”

Wolf will always carry that conversation with him. Not long after, the most normal night of their lives became a tragedy that reshaped everything.

After pausing to clear his throat, Wolf began to describe vivid, fragmented scenes of the mass shooting, which killed 49 people and wounded 53 more.

Drew and Juan were among those who lost their lives.

A Call to Action

In the aftermath of the shooting, Wolf faced profound grief and struggled to find meaning. He realized the best way to honor the friends he’d lost was through action. “I took a leap of faith again,” he says. “I got involved.” 

Wolf cofounded the Dru Project, a nonprofit advocacy organization that works to spread love and support LGBTQ+ youth in honor of Drew Leinonen. Wolf also became an outspoken activist in the gun violence prevention movement, testified before Congress in 2019 and went on to serve as a national surrogate for multiple presidential campaigns. His debut memoir, A Place for Us, reflects on overcoming adversity with hope and resilience. 

Wolf knew that if he could tell his best friend’s story — not the story of how he died, but the story of how he lived, then young people might feel inspired to live “unapologetically and audaciously” even in the face of violence and hatred.

Wolf invited the audience of counselors to join in that mission by closing his speech with three calls to action:

1. Call partners to action. Continue to leverage resources such as the Human Rights Campaign, for whom Wolf is the national press secretary. They are excited to work with the counseling profession through organizations like ACA.
2. Change the world on an individual level. Counselors can change the world with every conversation and every meeting. At a time when misinformation is rampant, embrace your role as a trusted messenger.
3. Know you’re not alone. In divisive times, there is no self-care without community care. Counselors know that better than anyone. Lean on colleagues and partners and build trusted relationships.

At Drew’s funeral service, Wolf made a promise that would change the course of his life. Wolf promised Drew he’d never stop fighting for a world his friend would be proud of — a world where every young person knows they are loved and valued exactly as they are. A world where everybody’s got a chance to thrive.

That’s the world counselors are building every single day.