By Manisha Sharma, PhD, LPC

I’ve always been curious to know how humans become resilient. Why are some people so good at recovering from challenges while others struggle? Are people born with resilience, or do they develop it during their lives? Did encountering a traumatic experience in my own early years make me resilient, or was my resilience innate?

As a professional counselor, I work with clients to strengthen resilience through a strength-based approach. People are motivated to build resilience promptly if they focus on identifying their strengths. After intake assessments, I encourage clients to identify one strong area of their lives and find a “push button” related to that strength. Examples of push buttons include a positive inner voice, an enjoyable hobby or activity, and a daily self-care routine.

Positive Inner Voice

During anxiety-provoking or stressful situations, a client might use their positive inner voice to say, “This moment will pass, too.” This affirmation enables individuals to detach from stressful situations, regain control over the moment and better manage anxiety. Consequently, regularly practicing a positive inner voice or affirmation can help people replace negative, anxious thoughts.

Enjoyable Activities

Some clients have difficulty finding a positive inner voice or have become conditioned to hearing a critical or negative voice the moment they experience stress. I often work with them to identify a few enjoyable hobbies or activities from their childhood. Perhaps someone used to love reading, playing sports or journaling. I would encourage them to resume those activities, or even just one activity to start, and practice that activity at least twice a week to rebuild interest.

Practicing an enjoyable activity provides multiple benefits. Clients may gain self-confidence when accomplishing enjoyable activities regularly or experience a sense of control over the consequences of their actions and behaviors by doing something predictable and achievable every day. For instance, a leisurely stroll in nature can help to quiet intrusive or negative thoughts and aid in releasing beneficial hormones. Walking also helps to nurture physical health and psychological well-being.

Daily Self-Care Routines

Crafting a daily self-care routine that enables one to choose constructive actions and positive behaviors is instrumental in building resilience and accomplishing desired outcomes. A daily routine can help people manage psychological problems such as depression, anxiety and anger and aid in achieving mind-body balance.

While on my own journey of fostering resilience, I rediscovered self-care activities from my childhood — such as yoga, exercise, practicing kindness and journaling — that gave me strength during stressful times. My clients describe having similar experiences. Those who routinely practice self-care report increased confidence and mental resilience.

Building Resilience for the Future

Routinely practicing push-button activities can help people to build resilience before they face a situation they’ve found stressful in the past. When I work with clients to activate their push button, I may ask them to identify a trigger that led to a bad day. Answers might include a conflict with their best friend, receiving a poor grade or familial discord. I would work with them to list two to four enjoyable activities to practice each week. Activities might include engaging in music, walking their dog or reaching out to someone they trust.

Finding and sustaining strong push buttons can help people build a lifetime of resilience.